Meatballs in Taiwan

Check out this poster for the Taiwanese premiere of Million Dollar Meatball, coming February 25-26 to a middle school in Taichung. I love how they made it look just like a movie poster, right down to the iconic font used for the credits at the bottom.

But my favorite part has to be the goofy expressions of the actors. They give the production a real sense of fun.

And in case you were wondering how to write Million Dollar Meatballs in Mandarin, it's like this:

百萬美元肉丸子.

Break legs, everyone!

What I learned directing

And just like that, it's over.

The Last Radio Show closed last night, and although I'm sad to see it go, I'm very happy with how it went. The audience loved the play, I came away with several ideas on how to improve the script (mostly cutting the slow bits), and I even made a little money.

I knew I would learn from experience. What I didn't know was how much I would learn. Basically, a metric boatload. Here are some of the biggest things I learned

1) The actors who complain that their parts are small are often the last ones to learn their lines.

2) As tempting as it may be, don't work on another script while in rehearsal. It's not a matter of time. It's a matter of mental energy. You owe it to your team to focus on the play at hand.

3) That first laugh is the hardest. Put it as early as you can--on lights up, if possible.

4) Sometimes the best thing a director can do for the cast during a long day of rehearsal is buy them pizza and leave them alone.

5) If you don't do anything with a character for several pages, consider giving them an exit.

6) Never ever EVER give an actor a line reading. Unless, of course, you have to.

7) The most important person on your team is the stage manager. Get the best one you can find.

8) It doesn't matter if you think the audience should laugh at a particular gag. If they're not laughing, cut it. There's nothing less funny than a line that's supposed to be funny.

9) Never ask actors to offer suggestions about their characters. They'll give you suggestions about everything BUT their characters.

10) Directing your own play is quite possibly the most stressful, nerve-wracking, nail-biting, agonizing, exhausting experience you ever have. It is also the most fun.

Will I do it again? You bet. But it has to be the right play and I have to have the right team. I don't know when those two things will come together, but I'm hoping that they do at least once a year.

Until then, it's back to writing.

The Last Radio Show opens tonight

The costumes are fitted. The props are set. The last rehearsal is over.

Now all that's left to make this thing a real live play is an audience.

Tonight is the world premiere of my newest play, The Last Radio Show. It's a fast-paced farce about KUKU, a struggling radio station in the 1940's, and the mysterious series of "accidents" that threaten to shut it down for good.

It's the first full-length play I've ever directed. It's been a lot of  hard work, sure, but it was also a lot more fun than I ever expected, and you'd better believe I'll be back in the director's chair before the year is out.

The best part about directing is the people. The actors were a delight to work with, and even if they didn't always agree with my decisions, they injected so much of themselves into the characters that the play is a hundred times better as a result.

Of course, I couldn't have done any of this without the fabulous crew I was blessed with. They went above and beyond the call of duty, making sure that every costume, every prop, every set piece met my often nitpicky demands. They also played a huge role in improving the script, and my favorite part of the whole process was batting around ideas with them long after the actors had gone home for the night.

The show runs fours shows only at Black Box Theatre, 1367 Pecan Street, in Colorado Springs:

• 7pm, Thursday, January 14
• 7pm, Friday, January 15
• 2pm, Saturday, January 16
• 7pm, Saturday, January 16

The production even got a glowing recommendation from the Colorado Springs Independent.

Tickets for the two Saturday shows are going fast. To order yours, visit Brown Paper Tickets.

Radio on the air

I'm deep into the rehearsal process for my new play The Last Radio Show, but I still managed to squeeze in a couple of interviews on local radio shows.

On Monday, Jessamine Hamer, Sam Suksiri and I were interviewed by Keith Simon for the KCME Culture Zone. To listen, click here.

Today, Sue Bachman, Freddy McDaniel and I were interviewed by Drew Smith for KVOR's The Ticket. To listen, click here.

The show runs Thursday, January 14 to Saturday, January 16 at Black Box Theatre in Colorado Springs. Tickets can be ordered here.

A look ahead to 2016

Over the last year, I successfully retargeted my playwriting career, spending less time submitting and more time writing. And it paid big benefits, allowing me to complete three full-length plays in 2015.

At this point, I can't afford to devote any additional time to writing, so my main direction for the new year is just to keep the momentum going.

Part of that involves the time of day I write. I've discovered that the quality of my writing is much better early in the morning than late at night, and the only way to get up that early is to go to bed early. So I'm resurrecting an old resolution from 2014:

1) Get to bed by midnight each night.

And here are the rest of my goals for 2016:

2) Successfully premiere my new play, The Last Radio Show. (The premiere is about to hit. Rehearsals start tomorrow for the January 14 opening.)

3) Get The Last Radio Show published.

4) Get Kill the Critic! published. (This may be a tough one as Pioneer Drama Service has already rejected it and there aren't too many other publishers who will look at a script that has never been professional produced.)

5) Finish the school play I'm currently working on, my second large-cast play and my first one intended for high school actors.

6) Get that play published.

7) Write a second play. I've got some ideas but haven't started any yet.

8) Lose another 10 pounds (I'm going to need more than exercise now. I may actually need to--gulp!--eat less).

A look back at 2015

On the first day of this year, I laid out ten goals that I hoped to accomplish in 2015. Not resolutions, mind you, but goals. They weren't good habits I was hoping to pick up or bad habits I was hoping to break, but things that I hoped to accomplish in my writing (mostly) and personal life.

How did I do? Well, here's the list plus my assessment whether I succeeded or failed in achieving each goal.

1) Increase writing time during the week from 1 hour to 1 1/2 hour per day.

Success. I started writing 1 1/2 hours a day on January 1 and, other than a few vacation days in which I gave myself permission to play hookey, I haven't missed a day since. If I fall short one day, I make it up the next day.

2) Increase writing time on the weekend from 1 hour to 3 hours per day.

Failure. I did well for about two months, then life got in the way. Still, I manage to squeeze in 3 hours of writing on the occasional slow Saturday or Sunday.

3) Cut way back on Facebook. Ten minutes a day should do it.

Failure. This has been an ongoing challenge for me. I waste too much not just on Facebook but all social media. Sometimes it's easy to convince yourself that it's a good investment of time, that it's important to keep marketing yourself online. But the payoff I've seen from social media marketing is minimal. It's just a huge time sink, and one I can't afford to keep indulging.

4) Only submit to markets that pay.

Halfway success. I did submit to a few markets that didn't pay, but these were for special opportunities that I wanted to get involved with for reasons other than money. But for the most part, I managed to avoid the siren call of those countless playwriting contests that offer a reading or production as their only prize. My total submission count for the year was 108, which was down significantly from each of the last two years. I expect that my submission count will continue to drop as I increasingly focus on youth plays, which I can submit directly to Pioneer and other publishers without the need to get productions first.

5) Get Million Dollar Meatballs published.

Success. The play was published by Pioneer Drama Service in August.

6) Get You're Driving Me Crazy published

Success. The play was published by Pioneer Drama Service in November.

7) Get my first professional production for Kill the Critic!

Failure. I did get a second production of this play, in Austin, TX, but this was by an amateur group. Sadly, none of the professional theatre companies I've submitted the play to have shown any interest. And I don't understand why. This is probably my funniest play, and everyone who sees it seems to love it.

8) Finish the school play I'm currently working on.

Success. While I didn't want to give any details at the time, I can tell you now that this play was How I Met Your Mummy. I finished writing it in March and it was published by Pioneer Drama Service in December. I may never get another three-play year again, but as I'm starting to build up my portfolio, I'll gladly take this one.

9) Finish the adult play I've struggled with off and on for the last two years.

Success. This play is Butterfly Effect, an adult farce with a very dark twist at the end. I think it may be the best thing I've written. Sadly, however, I've received absolutely no interest from any of the theatre companies I've submitted it to. My struggles with this play and Kill the Critic! just go to show how much harder it is to get productions for an adult play.

10) Lose 10 pounds (my wife made me add this one).

Success. I actually thought this was going to be the hardest of the ten goals to accomplish since I've tried and failed so many times before. But in February, I was diagnosed with high blood pressure, which may be one of the best things that ever happened to me. My doctor put me on a low-sodium diet and told me to start exercising. I'm now eating a lot more fruits and vegetables and hiking half an hour every day, enabling me to reach that elusive 10 pound goal. And I feel a whole lot better as a result.

Summing it all up then, I achieved six and a half of my ten goals. Not too bad, I suppose, but I'm hoping to do even better next year.

Besides these accomplishments, I also had my South Korea and Philippines premieres. And with productions in Kansas, New Jersey and Georgia, I have now reached 45 of the 50 states. Only Delaware, West Virginia, New Mexico, Alaska and Hawaii remain. Can I close those out in 2016? Possibly. And if so, it'll be Rumpelstiltskin, Private Eye that does it. That play is taking me all sorts of places I've never seen before.

Let loose the mummy!

My seventh play--and third new play of the year--has just been published. How I Met Your Mummy is a classic farce that runs 85 minutes and has a cast of 11 (5M/6F). Here's the blurb:

In this hysterically witty, spine-tingling farce, the O. Howe Dulle Museum is about to unveil their latest find -- a mysterious mummy named Yo-Wut-Sup. There's nothing dull about this museum considering everyone wants to get their hands on this ancient man! A pushy reporter vows to prove Yo-Wut-Sup is a hoax. A wacky mystic intends to sneak him back to Egypt. Three high school students want to use him in their low-budget horror film. And two clueless robbers plan to steal the mummy, if only they can figure out what one looks like. Can Melvin Trimble, the world's most cowardly security guard, stop all of them considering it's his first night on the job? Or will he be left taking the "wrap"? And why are there, not one, not  two, but three creepy mummies roaming the halls? Now museum, now you don't!

As I come across photos from productions of my plays, one thing has struck me again and again. Many schools and community theatres are performing the plays on a shoestring, with very little room for an elaborate set. In fact, many of the productions have no set at all. Instead, they're mounted in an empty corner of a classroom or school basement.

I think that's great. Theatre is a wonderful thing, and space or budget limitations shouldn't prevent students and small town audiences from reaping the benefits of it. But that does pose a significant challenge for me in my own writing. How can I make my plays simple to produce while maintaining a professional level of storytelling?

For this play, the answer was simple. I did away with the set. All you need is two exits, a sarcophagus, a table and a chair.

The costumes are fairly detailed, and there several props and sound cues that need to be provided. But overall, it's one of my easiest plays to produce.

For ordering info and a sample from the script, please visit the play's webpage.