Belmont Diary: It's a mystery to me

I love writing on commission. It gives me a deadline. The collaborative atmosphere helps me focus my writing. The money's nice. And it guarantees that the play will meet an unfulfilled need in the market.

In fact, my first two commissions, It's a Madhouse! and Bringing Down the House, were snapped up for publication by Pioneer Drama Service and have turned out to be way more successful than even I had imagined (I'm still waiting on the results from newly-published commission #3).

So yeah, commissions are the bomb. But there's something even better than a commission. And that's two commissions.

Today, I was deep into the third pass of another commission for Belmont Day School (#4 for those keeping score at home) when the theater arts teacher there offered me a fifth commission. I immediately said yes.

I mean, it should be a quick write. Like The Worst Fairy Tale Ever, which they commissioned from me last summer, it'll be a one-act comedy with minimal set and costume requirements and a cast of eight. The difference? This time it'll be a mystery.

Mysteries are a blast to write. Three of my first four plays were mysteries (The _urloined Letter, The Butler Did It!, and Rumpelstiltskin, Private Eye). Then I stopped for several years while I played around with other genres. But I always missed the form and I finally came back to it four years ago for It's a Madhouse! Now I'm eager to jump back into those deep, murky waters.

I don't have any story ideas. I'm going to have to do some brainstorming for that. But the school made it very clear they don't want the play to have the same meta, bumbling-cast concept as The Worst Fairy Tale Ever (or The Play That Goes Wrong, which inspired it).

Which is fine with me. I'm excited to do something totally fresh.

Oh, one more thing. Like The Worst Fairy Tale Ever, this play is being commissioned for in-class use only. This means that Belmont Day School will not be producing the play. And this means that the world premiere is up for grabs. Whoever agrees to produce it first gets it.

Interested? Then email me at the address shown on my Contact Me page and you'll be among the first to receive the script when it's complete. The mystery play is due September 1. The airport play is due October 1.

Two plays in three months? I guess I know what I'll be doing this summer!

Nutmeg State Latte gets some love

It's always exciting to see one of my plays gets nominated for a local theater award. Well, Woodland Regional High School's production of Whole Latte Love, didn't get just one nomination. It got five:

• Best Contemporary Play
• Best Performance by a Cast in an Ensemble Production 
• Best Standout Performance in a Male Role in an Ensemble Production
• Best Standout Performance in a Female Role in an Ensemble Production
• Best Scenic Design

They're called the Halo Awards and they're given out by Seven Angels Theatre in Waterbury, CT to over 90 participating high schools across the state of Connecticut.

Of course, Whole Latte Love may not win, and that's okay. As they say, it's an honor just to be nominated. Especially when you're up against such classic plays as Shakespeare in Love, Clue, Eurydice, and Puffs.

But I really, really want to win. And we'll find out exactly who does win on May 30 during the awards ceremony at Waterbury's Palace Theater.

Good luck, everybody!

My 14th year sales

Another theater season has come and gone, and I'm happy to say that this one truly was a banner one. But--and it's a big but--it had to be. Since I'm now a full-time playwright, and my playwriting income is only about a third of my old engineering income, I need to keep growing my royalties by a healthy percentage each year if I want to make a go of this.

The best way to do that, of course, is to get more productions. And the best way to do that is to write more plays. Which is why I've been working like crazy, cranking out plays quickly while maintaining the quality people have come to expect.

But not just any plays. It's also important to keep the market in mind and write what schools and community theaters are looking for. And a couple of results from the past year have me rethinking this whole thing.

More on that later. In the meantime, let's take a quick look at...

The numbers

A year ago, I saw a massive bump from the previous year. My production count was up 16% and my royalties were up--get ready for it--44%. Maybe I was a little delusional, but I was hoping for something similar this year. Unfortunately, I fell short. I had a total of 453 productions, which is up 8% over the previous year while my royalties were up 6%.

It's not that my new plays didn't do well. They did. It's just that some of my big hits from the previous year dropped off a little more than expected.

Still, I'm not worried. I've seen quite a few of my plays pop up again in a year or two so I'm hopeful that will happen again over the next twelve months.

And besides, that 452 count is an all-time record for me so I really can't complain.

The top five

1) The Enchanted Bookshop--118 productions

My most-popular play for the eighth year in a row was this magical comedy. That 118 is actually an amazing number because it represents the second highest production count this play has ever had.

The Enchanted Bookshop is truly the Energizer Bunny of plays. It just keeps going and going and going.

It's the only one of my plays that theaters repeat, sometimes as often as once a year. It's also the only one of my plays (besides The Enchanted Bookshop Musical) that regularly appears in professional theater seasons alongside such big-name works as Clue, Matilda, and Into the Woods.

2) It Happened on Route 66--48 productions

For the second year in the row, my second-most-popular play was this 1950's romantic comedy. And I couldn't be happier.

I love this play. I love the characters. I love the humor. I love the cool diner setting. And I'm grateful that so many people around the country seem to love the play as well.

I can't wait to see how well the brand new musical adaptation Route 66 does this year.

3) Bringing Down the House--36 productions

My third-most-popular play was this backstage comedy. What's especially impressive is that this was only a partial year for the play. It wasn't even released until August.

I've got be honest. This one surprised me. I never dreamed it would be this popular. I wrote it simply because a school commissioned me to write it. They wanted a play about a musical rehearsal that keeps getting interrupted so none of the characters actually get to sing. As a result, the play calls for a lot of different musical tracks which are only played for a few bars.

The play is pretty quirky in other ways as well. There's a swordfight between a group of confused protesters using the handles of their protest signs against a band of sledgehammer-armed demolition workers, There's another swordfight involving actual swords. And then there's a dance involving aliens, pirates, and several crates of dynamite.  

The reason I think it's so popular is just the sheer size of the play. It calls for a cast of 40, similar to my play It's a Madhouse!, which has also been wildly popular. So it's clear that a lot of schools are interested in plays that give a large number of students an opportunity to perform.

And this one definitely does. Unlike some plays that achieve their large cast sizes by plugging in a nameless chorus, my plays always give each character a name, a unique personality, a specific goal, and at least a couple of lines guaranteed to get a laugh. 

So one of the changes I'm planning to make in my career is to focus a lot more on huge-cast plays like this--even if they're not commissioned.

4) The Enchanted Bookshop Musical--27 productions

My fourth-most-popular play was this musical adaptation of The Enchanted Bookshop. This was another surprise because those 27 productions are the most it's received since its inaugural (and COVID-shortened) season of 2019-2020 and a big boost from last year's 15 productions. I don't know what happened to bring it back to life, but I like it.

5) You're Driving Me Crazy!--25 productions

My fifth-most-popular play was this collection of four driver's ed-related shorts. Ten years in, it's still getting a healthy number of productions.

Earlier this month, Pioneer released The Worst Fairy Tale Ever, my first one-act play since You're Driving Me Crazy! and I'm already hearing from teachers who tell me how excited their students are to perform it. So I think that's going to be a big play this year. And I'm going to watch it closely because I may start writing a lot more short plays.

Honorable mentions

I do want a give a shout-out to three plays that placed a very close sixth. These include Million Dollar Meatballs (also in its tenth year), It's a Madhouse!, and How to Enchant a Bookshop, which all snagged 24 productions.

It's a Madhouse!, of course, has a one-act version titled simply Madhouse!, and if you combined the two of them, they would account for an impressive 47 productions. So even though the first of those two plays dropped off my top five this year, the pair remains a production powerhouse.

Finally, this was the first full year for How to Enchant a Bookshop and I find that particularly interesting because when I first submitted the play, there was some concern that it might cannibalize sales from the other Enchanted Bookshop plays. Seeing that two of them are still in my top five, it's heartening to know this didn't happen.

Final thoughts

So yeah, it was a good year. Sure, I wish some of my plays had done a little better and that my royalties had grown a little more. But still, it was a record-breaking year in many ways and I couldn't have done it without you, the drama teachers and theater directors who've chosen my plays over the years.

So let me just leave you with a large and very heartfelt...

Mall Madness to be published

Good news! For the first time since December, I've got a new play accepted for publication. It's titled Mall Madness and it's being published by Pioneer Drama Service, my 29th play with them. This light-hearted comedy has a cast of 16 (6M, 8F, 2E), uses a single set, and runs about 75 minutes.

Write what you know

After the unexpected success of It Happened on Route 66, I'd decided I wanted to write another play capturing the spirit of a particular decade. But which decade?

Well, since I'd already done the 50's, there was only one obvious choice: those totally awesome 80's. I've always loved the 80's, and not just nostalgically. It was a huge decade for me in real life as well.

It was the decade when I graduated from high school. The decade when I met my future wife. And the decade when Tammy and I got married.

Nobody loved the 80's as much as we did. Cruising around in my black, rusted-out Chevy Nova. Bopping out to bands like A Flock of Seagulls and The Go-Go's. Catching flicks like The Breakfast Club and Say Anything.

It was a wonderful decade to be young and in love.

So I had to laugh when, thirty years later, our teenage daughters became fans of the exact same bands and movies (rusted-out cars not so much). If they loved the 80's, then I figured there must be a lot of kids who would love to relive those golden days of yore onstage.

Choosing a setting

It Happened on Route 66 took place in perhaps the most iconic of 50's settings: a highway diner. So what was its equivalent in the 80's? Where did 80's teens gather to hang out and, well, just be teens? 

Nothing quite clicked. An arcade? Too hard to recreate on a stage. A video store? Kids didn't really hang out there for long. A school dance? Those had been done to death. 

Finally, at dinner one night, I mentioned my conundrum to Tammy. And, as so often happens, she immediately had the answer.

The mall food court.

I loved the idea. A food court is a rich, fertile ground for humor, with all the tacky restaurants and the potential for awkward social situations. It would be simple to stage, only requiring a few tables and chairs. And as far as I could tell, nobody had ever set a play in a food court before.

Next up: the plot

But what would the play be about? I knew Pioneer already had a couple of plays set in the 1980's, the musical Totally Awesome 80's and its slimmed-down version The Awesome 80's. And they're a lot of fun, basically big mash-ups of the famous movie plots and characters from that decade. 

I wanted to do something different. Think, think, think. Well, let's see. Another fun part of the 80's were the products that had seemed so modern and cool at the time but had since either faded from sight or become just a normal part of our everyday culture. You know, like Rubik's Cubes. And chicken nuggets. And Air Jordans. And boomboxes.

But I still had a problem. How do you build a story out of those?

I wrestled with this question for months. Then my wife and I watched a cheesy Hallmark movie titled Trading Up Christmas. It's about a successful young businesswoman from the big city (of course) who returns to her small town to help her financially-challenged sister get a home. How does she do it? By trading up from a simple Christmas stocking.

I had my plot! (Who says Hallmark movies are a waste of time?) From that point, the writing just flowed out of me and I completed the script in a couple of months. 

The madness begins

I'm very happy with how it turned out. Here's the synopsis:

It's the 1980's, and there's only one place you'll find all the cool kids (and not so cool kids) on a Saturday afternoon: the mall.

That's where Elwood is mooning over the queen bee of the school, Chanel. Elwood longs to take Chanel to see her favorite girl band, the Lipsticks, but he knows he has two strikes against him. One, he's a Dungeons & Dragons-loving nerd. And two, the concert is completely sold out.

Elwood's luck seems to turn when he helps out a mysterious young woman who rewards him with a pair of tickets to the very same concert. But before he can ask Chanel to go with him, brutish high school quarterback Brock swipes the Trapper Keeper where Elwood has hidden the tickets.

There's only one way to get the binder back from Brock without tipping him off to the treasure inside: Offer him a brand new pair of Air Jordans in exchange, Unfortunately, Elwood can't afford such pricey shoes. But if he trades a boombox for the shoes, and a Walkman for the boombox, and so on and so forth, Elwood might finally get the tickets by giving up the one thing he values most: a cheap D&D miniature!

And yes, the boombox from the movie Say Anything does play a key role. As does a very important tray of chicken nuggets.

Mall Madness should be released before the new school year opens this fall.

The Worst Fairy Tale Ever is now available!

I am beyond excited to announce that Pioneer Drama Service has just released my 29th play with them and my 33rd play overall. Titled The Worst Fairy Tale Ever, it's a fast-paced comedy with a cast of 8 and a run time of just 20 to 25 minutes.

The play had an interesting development process. It was first commissioned by  Belmont Day School in Massachusetts for use in their 6th grade theater arts class. 

After working out the bugs with them, I promoted it on the High School Theatre Directors and Teachers group on Facebook. South Florence High School in South Florence, South Carolina, snapped it up and they gave the play its world premiere in a student-directed production in November.

Shenandoah High School in Shenandoah, Iowa also responded to my post, and they took the play to their district speech contest in January and the state-level contest in March.

So the play appeals to many different age groups, from elementary school all the way up to high school. It would also work well as a TYA production performed by adults.

What makes it so adaptable? Well, I think it's because the play is a piece of cake to produce, with no set requirements beyond a single stage cube and no costume requirements beyond a few hats. And while the story is simple, the vocabulary is just challenging enough to offer some real meat for young and not-so-young actors alike. 

The story itself works on three levels. At first glance, it appears to be a straightforward fairy tale about a king who offers half his kingdom to whoever can defeat the dragon ravaging the land. But the actors performing the play-within-a-play pretty much botch it.

The actor playing the knight tapes his lines to the back of his shield. Another actor insists on stealing the show with a ridiculously drawn-out death scene. The actor playing the dragon is too shy to even step onto the stage. And the narrator gets so fed up with the cast's antics that she quits the show entirely.

Think of it as the Brothers Grimm meets The Play That Goes Wrong.

Only as the play progresses does it become clear that the story goes deeper yet as one of the actors has an anxiety attack about his performance and the rest of the cast quickly improvise an ending to help him feel the love.

Want more? Then just head over to the play's web page, where you can read the synopsis, download a script sample, and order your own perusal script.

Enjoy!

Bringing Down the House for real

Sometimes schools primarily choose a play because they like the playwright. Sometimes it's because they like the playwright. And sometimes it's simply because it works with the cast they have.

Well, St. Lawrence Seminary High School in Mt. Calvary, Wisconsin may have had the best reason of all for choosing Bringing Down the House, my comedy about a struggling theater company that's forced to rush things when they find out the theater they rented is going to be demolished the very next day.

As it turns out, the school had recently demolished a building of their own, and they thought it would be fun to perform a play that marked their "year of demolition."

I mean, you don't have to tear down any buildings to do this play. But if you want to, that's fine with me.

Belmont Diary: A high-flying comedy

They say that theater is the most collaborative of art forms. I actually think cinema deserves that title. I mean, watch the credits of any big budget movie (if you can stand it) and you'll see the names of hundreds, even thousands of people, who contributed--way more than even the most elaborate Broadway spectacle. 

Still, theater is a strong second place. You've got the director, who shapes the production. You've got the producer to provides the funding. You've got the cast to bring the story to life. You've got the stage manager to keep the show running smoothly. And you've got designers and crew members to take care of all those technical details that really make a production sing (even if it's not a musical!).

The missing link

There's just one person left out of this equation. The playwright.

Oh, sure. The playwright may be involved in the original production, serving as a general advisor or answering queries as to the intent of the text. But often the playwright is viewed as an annoyance, even an impediment, by the director, who's striving to birth her own vision for the show. Sometimes, the director even bans the playwright from the rehearsal hall.

Of course, after the play is published, any subsequent productions are done without any input from the playwright whatsoever. As a result, the playwright performs much of their work alone, whether it's in a well-appointed study or a lowly garret. And that can really hinder their creativity.

Which is why I really value the relationships I've formed with the theaters I work with. Jacksonville Performing Arts Center in North Carolina will be working with me on the world premiere of my reality show comedy Survival Island! this November. And then there's Belmont Day School in Massachusetts, which has just hired me for my fourth playwriting commission.

Two of those earlier commissions, It's a Madhouse! and Bringing Down the House, have become huge hits, while the third one, The Worst Fairy Tale Ever, will be released by Pioneer Drama Service any day now. So I'm eager to work with them on a new play, even if it means I've got to shelve it for several months while I wait for the world premiere. It'll be worth it, though, because the feedback I'll get from the theater staff (and eventually the audience!) will be invaluable in making the play the very best it can be--something I can't really get any other way.

An idea is born

This time, instead of them hiring me to dramatize a story they'd already defined, we decided to brainstorm some new concepts together (through email). Theater director Christopher Parsons came up  with ten of them, and the one that grabbed me was one titled Train Station Tales. Only as soon as I read that, a couple of thoughts quickly sparked inside my brain.

What if instead of a train station, the play was set at the boarding gate of an airport? And what if the  flight was cancelled due to snow and the passengers were forced to spend the night there?

It had everything: Conflict. Humor. Drama. And lots of potential for human connection.

Oh, one more thing. Like my first two commissions, this one is for another monster-sized cast, somewhere between 38 and 40 actors. The airport idea lends itself to this as well, and I can already envision a dozen vignettes featuring the sometimes-crazy, sometimes-heartwarming, but always human stories you find at the airport.

A rose by any other name...

The first draft is due in early September so I've got plenty of time to work on it. Meanwhile, I still have to come up with a catchy title. Here are just a few of the ones I'm mulling:

Snowbound.

Stuck at the Airport.

Thirty Minutes Till Boarding.

Missed Connections.

Thank You for Your Patience.

Ah, I'll think of something.

Great things come in small packages

Just one week after I attended a production of It Happened on Route 66, I had the fun of seeing another one of my shows. Tonight it was The Last Radio Show at the Academy Theatre in Phoenix.

This theater company is the flip side of Center Stage Theater Group, which produced my popular diner comedy last Saturday.

Where Center Stage is only two years old, the Academy Theatre has been around for a respectable eighteen.

Where Center Stage is a community theater for adult actors, the Academy Theatre is an arts school for youth with a small adult program.

Where Center Stage has a small troupe of veteran actors to draw from, the Academy Theatre focuses on newbies or those with limited experience.

And where Center Stage is located in a fast-growing middle-class suburb of Phoenix, the Academy Theatre finds its home in the urban heart of the city, where its mission of nurturing disadvantaged youth is most needed.

When I first emailed the founder and director Angel Arredondo about attending the show, he confessed he wasn't sure whether the cast would be excited or nervous. I told him not to worry. I enjoy seeing my plays performed by actors of all different skill and experience levels. What's important is the passion and sense of fun they bring to their roles.

The Academy Theatre may be the smallest proscenium theater I've ever been in as it has only four rows of eight seats each (all of which were filled for tonight's performance). The stage was small too, but Angel made the most of it, managing to squeeze an entire radio station into the space from the performance area to the reception desk to the oh-so-important coffee station (you'll have to read the play to know why!).

When I sat down to look over the program, I was surprised to find how truly inexperienced the cast was. Two of the ten actors had never acted before. Two more hadn't acted in ten years.

Still, the cast did a wonderful job. Their comedic timing and delivery were excellent, and the audience responded with a steady barrage of laughter that lasted right up until the climax of the play.

That's when I held my breath. The biggest moment in the play comes when Jimmy, the mild-mannered office boy, finally gets to prove his acting chops by single-handedly performing a three-minute radio play--including a dozen different voices. As the miniplay-within-a-play comes to an end, so does Jimmy, collapsing to the floor in exhaustion. He saved the radio station, and that moment has never failed to get a show-stopping burst of applause.

I'm happy to report that it didn't this time either. The crowd cheered, and I could breathe again.

The play ended shortly after, and the cast took their well-deserved bows.

Those familiar with the play know that one of its big draws is that it gives the audience a chance to see how many of those old-time radio show effects were made, whether somebody crinkled cellophane to make the sound of a crackling fire or shook a thin metal sheet to make the sound of thunder. The Academy Theatre didn't have that luxury so they simply piped in all of the sounds using audio files.

While not ideal, this worked much better than I would have expected, and so I can recommend it as a viable alternative for theater companies that are strapped for either resources or time.

I didn't get to take any pictures with the cast, and that's okay. I always take my lead from the cast and this cast didn't ask for it. But I did get to shake hands with each of them and let them know that they did a bang-up job.

It was a magical evening, made even more magical by the energy and dedication of the entire cast and crew.

Angel must be doing something right.

Route 66 comes home

I've talked before about how rare it is for me to see one of my plays. About 90% of my productions come from schools, and I tend to avoid those because the presence of the playwright can be intimidating, something young actors don't need when the focus should be on them and the development of their skills in a constructive, pressure-free environment.

In fact, the last production I saw was An Enchanted Bookshop Christmas all the way back in December 2023. That was a wonderful show and I was gratified by how warmly the audience responded to it.

So I was excited this weekend to see Center Stage Theater Group bring my diner comedy It Happened on Route 66 to life in the Phoenix metro area, where I live.

I'm familiar with most of the theaters in town, but I'd never heard of this happy band of thespians. A quick Google search told me they're one of the newest companies in town, having only been around since 2023.

Center Stage is the brainchild and passion project of Helene Benigno, a director, actor, and playwright in her own right. In just two years, she has built a dedicated stable of community theater veterans with whom she produces plays like Love, Loss, and What I Wore and Lizzie Borden of Fall River.

When I contacted Helene, she said she'd be thrilled to have me attend the show. And so earlier tonight, I journeyed westward with my wife to the suburb of Buckeye, where the company was performing my  play at a local high school.

As soon as I stepped inside the school's cafetorium, I knew I was in good hands. The set looked great. Although the company had rented the stage for only two performances, they managed to put together a set that was both appealing and lovingly detailed, establishing a fun, nostalgic mood for the performance.

Even better, the place was packed. I'm guessing at least two hundred people were there. The air was electric. And so, as I settled into my seat, I couldn't wait to see the cast bring my familiar lines to life.

Only it didn't start familiar, and for a few minutes, I wasn't sure what was going on. Sans dialogue, a young waitress entered the diner and promptly fell asleep at one of the tables, only to be chewed out by an irate Cookie, also sans dialogue but with plenty of amusingly angry gestures.

Turns out this was nothing more than a way to get the audience to take their seats, since Helene's pre-performance announcements immediately followed this scene. I thought it was really fun because it basically played out how Sally's coworker Deedee quit, an event which Cookie only briefly mentions near the beginning of the play.

I don't know the name of the actress who played Deedee (she's not credited as such in the program), but I'm 99.9% certain she's the only person who's ever played this role.

The show was fantastic. I hate to pick out any single performers since they were all so good. But I would like to mention Ashley Fergus-Crane, who played movie star Lovey Lamour exactly as I'd always imagined her, with plenty of sass in the beginning, but gradually revealing her human side as she interacts with the everyday people who pass through the diner.

Helene told me she's a huge fan of physical comedy, and it showed. She gave her cast free rein to play with the script, and they found plenty of stuff to work with. My favorite bit was the way Ashley awkwardly stuck her fingers inside the water glasses as she carried them to the customers--something she came up with herself and which got loud guffaws every time she did it.

I also really liked Mallory Kochmann, who blended a wide-eyed innocence with just the right amount of spunk in her portrayal of movie-obsessed waitress Sally. In fact, she seemed to win the hearts of the audiences as much as she did Roscoe's heart, earning a heartfelt "aw" from the crowd as she declared her undying love for her geeky boyfriend.

And Kathy Berrens was hilariously tough as diner owner Cookie (it's always fun to see whether a theater goes with a male or female in this role--both work well!). Every one of her tirades got big laughs from the audience. And this constant grousing only made it funnier when she totally fan-girled out at crooner Johnny Jerome's surprise appearance in Act Two.

Speaking of surprises, there was an especially clever one at intermission when Helene announced that she would give two free tickets to whoever found a particular object under their seat. The object? The C that was blown off of the Cookie's Diner sign (you can see me holding it in the photo at the top of this post).

Cute, right?

Helene put her own twist on the ending as well. In the script, I have the lights dim as Cookie wipes the counter after bidding a pre-fame Elvis goodbye. Instead of this, Helene had Cookie stroll over to the jukebox, where she punched the button for "Hound Dog." This led seamlessly into the curtain call as the cast shimmied and shook their way onto the stage to the real Elvis's iconic tune.

After the performance, I chatted with the cast and signed their programs. They bombarded me with questions about my thoughts on the performance and what other plays I was working on, but there was one question I myself was dying to ask.

Sheehan Servais played both a hilariously hungry Otis and the King himself. He played them so well, in fact, that I didn't even realize they were done by the same actor until he came out for the curtain call.

Now I wish I'd asked him how he managed the quick change since the script goes right from Otis's exit to Elvis's entrance with only a quick laugh and a wipe of the counter by Cookie between them. But no. The question I asked was how he managed to put away so much food during the hour and a half of the play.

The production notes at the end of the script suggest that the actor deposit some of the food into a hole drilled into the top of the counter. But I watched for that and didn't see Sheehan doing anything like that.

The answer was simple. Sheehan did eat all of the food he was served during the play. He just skipped dinner those nights.

I guess that's one of the advantages to being in your twenties. You know, the insatiable appetite and all.

Anyway, it was an amazing show, and I feel very lucky to have seen it.

Thank you, Helene and the entire cast and crew. You made this playwright very proud.

Survival Island! available for licensing

So I've got a brand new play for you. It's titled Survivor Island! and before I submit it for publication, I'm licensing it directly to schools and community theaters so that I can work out any bugs and make it the very best it can be.

Survivor Island! features a cast of 10 (3M, 3F, 4 any). It's the closest thing I've ever written to a true ensemble piece, with no single lead and 8 of the 10 parts being fairly substantial. It requires only a single beach set and runs a very brisk 70 minutes. 

The play was inspired by--big surprise!--the TV reality series Survivor! I always thought it was funny that, while the living conditions faced by the contestants on the show may be difficult, they are nowhere near being a true survival situation. This made me think: what if a bunch of mostly pampered city dwellers signed up for a survival reality show only to be forced to fend for themselves when the show's host and crew disappear in a tragic accident.

Okay, so it's a little dark. But not that dark. The characters are over-the-top parodies of the types of personalities you often see on these shows. And both the situations they get into and the dialogue among the characters are very comical. In tone, I figure it's halfway between Gilligan's Island and Lord of the Flies.

Here's the full synopsis:

What's the most popular reality show on TV? Survival Island!, of course! And host Chase Conroy promises that this season will be the most thrilling one yet. Not only is the island they've chosen surrounded by the most shark-infested waters on earth, but the jungle is teeming with poisonous plants, and there's an active volcano right in the middle of it!

Behind the scenes, Chase assures the eight contestants that there's nothing to worry about. His number one job is to keep them safe. Of course, that's before Chase and the entire crew fall into the volcano. Now the contestants are on their own with no boat, no food, and no way to communicate with the outside world.

At first, they vow to work together to get rescued. But when one of the contestants—a quiet, shy librarian named Shannon—discovers the island's lone banana tree, she decides to use that knowledge to fuel her own ambitions, leading to a war between the haves and the have-nots. A war fought with bananas, of course!

My good friends at Jacksonville Performing Arts in Jacksonville, North Carolina, will present the world premiere in November. In the meantime, I'm looking for additionally producing groups who would like to produce this raucously funny, thought-provoking play.

Interested in receiving a free perusal copy of the script? Then email me directly at todd.wallinger@gmail.com. There's absolutely no obligation to perform the play. I won't even bug you about it.

If you decide to perform it, just let me know the dates. The licensing fee is $60 per performance and includes the right to make as many copies of the script as you need for no additional cost. I would greatly appreciate it if you could give me feedback on the production challenges you faced and any suggestions for improvement you may have, but this is by no means required.

Oh, and did I mention that every script includes instructions on how to build an actual functioning banana battery (a key plot point in the play)?

Theater AND science. Would could be better than that?

Reno Bookshop builds libraries

I'm always thrilled to see the creative ways that schools and community theaters use The Enchanted Bookshop to encourage reading in their communities. Some have a story time before the show. Some give a free book to every child attending the performance.

And then there's Reno Little Theater in--you guessed it!--Reno, Nevada. They came up with a way to promote reading not only among their smaller audience members but throughout the city. At each performance, they'll be holding a book exchange in which each person who donates three books gets to take home one book of their choice. The books remaining at the end of the production will then be donated to non-profit Spread the Word Nevada to help local kids build their own home libraries.

The show runs March 7-16. If you're in the area, I urge you to attend. Not only will you see a great show, but you'll get a chance to share your love of reading with countless others.

Seriously, what can be better than that?

Texas How to Enchant makes a magical place

It must be the height of theater season because I've got another TV spot to share with you today. This one features a production of How to Enchant a Bookshop by the Sherman Community Players in Sherman, TX. You can watch the clip here.

Director Lynda Leach, artistic director Darrah Dunn, and cast member Grace Sanchez joined KXII TV host Caroline Fletcher to talk about the show. Much of the discussion revolves around the magic in the play and of the wonderfully immersive (and immense!) set the theater's crew built for it.

My favorite part, though, came when Caroline pointed out that the Honey McGee Theater where the play will be performed is already a magical place.

That's really true, isn't it? Whether the story revolves around fairies and magic spells and book characters come to life, like my play does, or whether it's grounded in the reality of the world today, the theater itself remains a place where magic happens, night after night after night.

Need a little magic in your life? Then you won't want to miss this "delightful" show (their word, not mine!), which runs March 9-16. Click here for all the deets.

Tulsa Purrfect Crime to bring love and laughter

None of the children's theaters that perform my plays get as much local TV coverage as Tulsa's Spotlight Children's Theatre, and they were back at it again today with an interview of three gifted actors from their production of my cat inheritance comedy The Purrfect Crime. You can watch the video here.

The play runs the next two weekends, and the young actors are very excited to be in it, as the interview makes clear.

My favorite part was when the host asked the kids what they hope the audience gets out of the play. Natalie Mayes, who plays Annie, answered simply, "a lot of laughter, hopefully," while Ray Sawyer-Karloski, who plays Little Bob, quickly added, "it also sends a message to appreciate your loved ones while they're still around."

Guess what. Both answers are correct!

Break legs, everybody! And a big thank you to this amazing theater company for their continued support. They've already scheduled a production of my western comedy The Stinky Feet Gang for August (my sixth production with them!) and I can't wait to see what the kids have to say about that one!

Too Many Ghosts is now available!

Just eleven days after my 30th play (Route 66) was released, my 31st play has now been published. This one is titled Too Many Ghosts, and I can't wait for you to read it.

Here's the blurb:

Jo Crenshaw dreams of turning the abandoned house she inherited in Salem, Massachusetts, into a successful bed and breakfast. But that could be a problem when she and her teenage daughter discover the place is home to five rambunctious ghosts. And none of the ghosts are particularly keen on sharing it with an endless parade of guests.

The level-headed Jo quickly lays down the law. There will be absolutely no haunting of the guests. But Roland, a cobbler from the 1790s, can't help himself. He ends up scaring off the very first guest they have: a popular travel blogger who dubs the place "the most haunted B&B in New England." Within days, the place is mobbed by thrill-loving tourists seeking their own ghostly encounters. 

 

Unfortunately, this draws the attention of Julia, the greedy owner of the largest hotel in town. After her plans to sabotage the property fail, she decides there's only one way to put the B&B out of business: hire a trio of "ghostbusters" to get rid of the ghosts for good.

The play has a cast of 24 (7M, 11F, 6 any) and runs about 90 minutes. The scenes primarily take place in two locations: the lobby of the B&B and a guest room. To eliminate need for set changes, these locations share a split stage, with three brief scenes being played in front of the curtain.

I'm super proud of the play. I think it's just as funny as any of my earlier comedies, but it goes much deeper into the emotions of the characters and there's an element of melancholy, of sadness even, which will hit audiences right in the heartstrings.

Too Many Ghosts didn't start out that way. I originally planned it to be a straight, laugh-out-loud comedy. But the very first character I came up with was a young ghost who was searching for a locket she'd lost. Although the character herself wasn't pushy by any means, she almost immediately took over the storyline and as I delved into how she lost the locket and what it meant to her, the story of her previous demise turned out to be rather tragic.

In the original version of the story, the young ghost was named Pip and she was only ten years old. I wrote the first two scenes in a couple weeks, and although I liked them very much, I ended up setting the script aside. The idea of a young ghost meant that the character herself must have died young, and I came to realize that this made the story almost completely unmarketable (Casper the Friendly Ghost notwithstanding).

Still, young Pip kept calling to me. She wanted to come to life, if only in spectral form. I had to figure out how to make it work.

It would be another sixteen months before I returned to the script. And that's because it took me that long to admit what I'd known all along. The girl had to be older. Like nine years older. Yes, the death of a nineteen-year-old is just as tragic as that of a ten-year-old, but it's somehow more palatable to audiences.

I wish I'd figured that out earlier. Because as much as I'd fought the idea of making her older, once I had, the writing flowed. I changed her name to Sophie, which was driven by a surprise twist near the end of the play. And instead of a lively preteen who was interested in dolls and cheap jewelry, she became a giddy young woman who was madly in love with--

Well, you'll have to read the script. But trust me. It's really, really good.

Even from the beginning, this young ghost developed a close friendship with the daughter of the woman who inherited the house. Well now, to make that friendship more meaningful, I had to make the daughter older as well. So twelve-year-old Millicent became seventeen-year-old Lily. And instead of being afraid of ghosts, she became an avid horror-movie fan, which gave me all sorts of stuff to have fun with.

 

The lesson for writers? There are two:

1) Don't fall in love with your writing.

2) Don't fight the changes you know you need to make.

It may take some time and a lot of effort to rewrite what you wrote, but in the end, it will all be worth it.

So, yeah, Too Many Ghosts still has some sad parts. But the ending is so full of hope and love and joy that I'm sure it'll make your heart all toasty and warm inside.

Oh, and if you want to read a sample or order a perusal copy of the script, click here.

Sophie would approve.

Route 66 musical is now available!

Big news! Route 66 has just been released by Pioneer Drama Service. This tuneful adaptation of my megahit diner comedy, It Happened on Route 66, is my 30th play but only my 2nd musical.

The musical includes all of the dialogue of the straight play while adding nine songs as well as a chorus of customers and diner staff to the cast. These songs were penned by the super-talented Scott DeTurk, who I blogged about before.

Here's the blurb:

It's 1955 and Sally, a waitress at Cookie's Diner, loves her town of Winona, Arizona, especially now that it's a stop on the famous "Route 66." She also loves the glamorous lives of the movie stars in her favorite tabloid, "Screen Scene Magazine."

Sally is especially excited today. Not only is she sure her longtime beau, Roscoe, is finally going to propose, but it's also the day that movie start Lovey Lamour is marrying crooner Johnny Jerome. What a surprise when the next customer at the diner turns out to be Lovey herself, who has fled her wedding and needs a place to hide! Sally is sure she can help Lovey keep her identity by helping her pose as a waitress. She teaches the Hollywood star the "Diner Lingo" she needs to know, but their entire scheme threatens to unravel when a nosy tabloid photographer discovers Lovey's identity ("I Found Her!") and tips off Johnny as to her location.

This 1950s musical is packed with fun, entertaining tunes that feature your actors' voices as well as a chorus of customers and all the hilarious characters -- a short-tempered cook, Sally's geeky boyfriend (who doesn't propose -- he's "Moving to Chicago!"), an ever-hungry customer who has everyone limbo dancing, the world's worst auto mechanic, and even "Travelin' Man" Elvis Presley before he was famous!

I've listened to the songs, and I've got to say, they're a lot of fun. The tunes are catchy, the lyrics are clever, and they add another whole dimension to the characters I created.

I think you'll like them too. You can listen to the song clips by visiting the musical's web page and clicking on the Song Samples button about two-thirds of the way down.

And while you're on that page, why don't you book a production (or at least order a perusal copy of the script)? After all, somebody's got to be first. Why not you?

What was lost in the fires

I've got a story for you today. A true story. A personal story.

It happened in 1992. I was working as an engineer for a semiconductor company in Tempe, Arizona. I was invited to present a technical paper at an engineering conference in Los Angeles, and as a sort of impromptu mini-vacation, I decided to bring my wife Tammy and our daughter Ashley with me. Ashley was only three months old at the time and cute as a button.

I gave my presentation on Friday, and on Saturday we decided to take a drive up the Pacific Coast Highway to Malibu, a town I'd visited before but Tammy had not (obviously that goes double for Ashley).

The first place we went to was Zuma Beach. Since it was October, we had the place almost entirely to ourselves. We didn't put Ashley in the water--it was a little too cold for that--but she loved the feel of the sand between her chubby little fingers and she was completely mesmerized by the waves pounding again and again against the shore.

When it came time for dinner, we decided to stop at a funky little Thai restaurant--it was really just a shack--a short ways up the highway from the beach. It was quiet inside, and dark. It seemed the perfect place for a relaxing dinner.

We were promptly seated at a table next to another couple, which I thought was weird as we were just about the only parties in the restaurant. Tammy and Ashley sat with their backs to a young woman. I sat across from Tammy, facing the man across from the woman.

Before we'd even ordered, the young woman turned to Tammy and lavished an embarrassing amount of praise on how beautiful Ashley was. We thanked her. She mentioned that she was expecting, and we congratulated her. And then she introduced the two of them--being sure to use their first names only. Her name was Linda and the man's name was James. We chatted a little more before our food came.

I thought they might be celebrities so I took little peeks of them during our dinner. The woman seemed vaguely familiar, but she was wearing sunglasses, even in the darkness of the restaurant, and I couldn't quite tell who she was.

I looked across at the man and when he looked back at me, he had the look of someone who desperately wanted to be recognized. But no. I didn't recognize him at all.

After dinner, we paid our bill and said a quick but warm goodbye to the couple. As we headed toward the exit, we noticed that three of the servers were huddled around the stand, pointing at the couple and giggling.

That's when Tammy turned to look back at the couple. "I think I know who that is," she whispered to me. "That's Linda Hamilton." Movie fans will remember her from The Terminator and Terminator 2, the latter of which she'd starred in just the year before. 

It would be another six years before I figured out who the man was. Tammy and I were watching the 1998 Oscars at a friend's house when they announced who'd won Best Director. A tall, thin, blond man took the stage, and as he hoisted his statuette in the air shouting "I'm king of the world!", I immediately recognized him as the guy from the restaurant.

It was, of course, James Cameron. The film, Titanic.

I'd met other celebrities before. I had a nice talk with Amadeus playwright and screenwriter Peter Shaffer at a theater seminar in Colorado Springs. I had an equally nice talk with America Ferrara at the screening of a small indie film she'd appeared in, also in Colorado Springs. And when I was about ten years old, I met Buddy Ebsen on a film location in Monument Valley, where the old hoofer entertained me and my family with a quick little jig.

But meeting Linda Hamilton and James Cameron was the best celebrity meet of them all, because it wasn't a celebrity meet. It was just two couples having a friendly chat over dinner. 

That restaurant burned to the ground this week in the Palisades fire.

Thousands of people have suffered unfathomable loss from the fires currently burning in southern California. Some have lost homes. Some have lost family members. Some have lost everything. 

It has broken my heart reading all of the stories, and I wonder how long it'll take those affected to return to a semblance of normal life. Maybe never.

So my heart goes out to them today. And my prayers. And my deepest, dearest hopes for some sort of recovery.

In the midst of so much devastation and loss, one cozy little beachside restaurant may not count for much. But I know I'll never forget it.

A look ahead to 2025

It's always the same thing. Every year about this time, the major media outlets collect a purportedly random sample of the general population and breathlessly ask them the same question:

What resolutions have you made for the New Year?

About half those people come up with some inspiring, aspirational goals that promise to get them back in shape, buy them some quality time with their family, and cure their bad breath.

The other half of the people take a more practical approach. They refuse to make any resolutions, explaining that they're all a waste anyway since everyone gives up two weeks in.

I'm somewhere in between.

I recognize how difficult it can be to stay true to such life-changing objectives. But I also recognize how important it is to try to improve ourselves, all through out lives.

That's why I don't call what I make "resolutions." I call them "goals." To me, at least, that makes them sound less threatening, less final. 

No, I don't always meet my goals by the time I say I will. But you know what? I've found that I often meet them years later.

In 2022, I set a goal of becoming an adjudicator for the ariZoni Theatre Awards. I didn't make it that year, but I did the following year. 

In 2019, I set the goal of leading a workshop at the Arizona Thespian Festival. I didn't get in that year, but I did in 2023.

And, in one my longest gestating goals, in 2016, I'd hoped to publish both Kill the Critic! That finally came to pass last year.

So I think it's important for you to set yearly goals for yourself. Even if you don't achieve them right away, just the act of putting them down in black and white makes them more likely to happen in the first place.

And so with that bit of unasked for advice, I give you my goals for 2025. 

1) Finish six plays.

Admittedly, this is an aggressive goal, one more than the number of plays I finished last year. But I can't let up. Now that I'm trying to make an actual living at writing, this level of productivity has to be the new normal.

2) Publish six plays

This I have less control over. I may write the greatest play ever written, but if it doesn't meet the needs of my publishers, they're not going to publish it. So it's vital for me as I'm writing to keep in mind what the market needs. And for the amateur market, that largely means plays that are easy to produce: few props, few or no lighting and sound effects, a single set. And always, always, some kind of hook that'll get eyeballs on the script and, eventually, butts in seats.

3) Get a picture book accepted for publication

I've been trying to break into the picture book market now for--whoa!--twenty-eight years. Some of those years I'd write three of four manuscripts that I submitted to publishers (and were promptly rejected). Other years I didn't write a thing.

But now that I'm writing full-time, I've decided to kick start my picture book writing again. In October, I submitted a humorous picture book titled Okie and Firecracker to my agent, Stephen Fraser at the Jennifer Di Chiara Agency. I haven't heard back from him yet (which reminds me, I really need to check in with him!), but I assume it's still making the rounds of the New York publishing houses.

In the meantime, I'm allowing the ideas for some new picture books to simmer in the back of my brain. The last picture book only took me a week to write so it fit in nicely between plays, when I'm often stuck for ideas and need to fertilize my gray matter by working (and playing) in a different genre for a while.

4) Foster gratefulness

Lately, I've tried to include a more touchy-feely goal in my yearly to-do lists. Last year I focused on mindfulness. This year, I'm going to focus on gratefulness.

As a perfectionist, I find it all too easy to obsess about things that are going wrong. But there's a lot more going right in my life right now and I want to boost that by reminding myself of those things. If anything can bring more good into my life, it's being thankful for the good I already have.

5) Spend more time with Honey

I haven't written much about Honey the Wondermutt on these pages, and I should. She's been a wonderful part of our lives for ten years now. And that passing of time has been weighing on me more heavily this last year.

Honey's a lab/beagle mix that our daughter Ashley got from a shelter in Tulsa when she lived there. We don't know much about her previous life. But we know she was abused. She has a scar on one of her back legs to prove it, probably from being tied up by a chain.

She was super scared at first. So scared of the world that she didn't want to go for walks. So scared of me that if I came into the room where she was, she would leave.

But eventually she came around. She learned to love walks. and when I started giving her pieces of my banana, she learned to love me as well.

A year later Ashley ended up in Tucson. A year after that we ended up in Phoenix. Ashley moved in with us after she lost her job in late 2018 and Honey quickly made herself at home in our home. She loved watching the neighbors go by from our courtyard. She loved running around our backyard (when she wasn't digging holes in it). She loved sniffing every single plant, it seemed, on our walks around the neighborhood. But most of all, she loved sunning herself on our back patio.

And that's why, when Ashley moved back to Tucson in 2023, she left Honey with us. It was the hardest decision she'd ever made in her life, and the most unselfish. But we all knew that between Ashley's job and her newfound passion for trail running, the alternative was to keep Honey cooped up alone in a tiny apartment for twelve hours a day, and she'd never be happy with that. Not after she'd experienced the doggy glory of rolling in fresh-mown grass or sticking her snoot in the perfumy richness of a lantana plant.

Honey turns eleven at the end of this month. She doesn't run like she used to. She's too stiff for that. But she still finds much to be happy about. And that's why this year I want to carve more time out of each day to just be with her, to savor the quiet moments as well as the playful moments, while she's still with us.

So, yes, it's important to me to learn to be grateful. But I expect the one who's going to teach me is Honey.