The Purrfect Crime to be published

I just mailed back the contract for my twelfth play to be accepted by Pioneer Drama Service, The Purrfect Crime. And I couldn't be more thrilled. Loyal followers of this blog will remember this play as the one I developed with Palmer Ridge High School in Monument, CO. Which means that the talented cast and crew who gave the play its world premiere production will soon see their names in the published script.

The Purrfect Crime is about a cat that inherits 42 million dollars after the death of the cantankerous Texas rancher who owned her. The rancher's spoiled children are appalled, and the oldest--a hard-driving businesswoman named Cecilia--immediately plots ways to get the fortune for herself.

I think the play will do very well. Although it's not a farce in the strictest sense, there's a lot of physical humor and farcical elements in the plot. In fact, one showstopping scene features a pair of stupid criminals who pose as pet psychics, a case of mistaken identity that would feel at home in any classic farce.

It's also my most female-heavy play. Of the ten speaking parts, seven are female, including the two leads. 

And it should be fairly easy to produce. There are no special technical requirements and, except for a couple of scenes that are played in front of the curtain,  the entire play takes place in the living room of a Texas ranch house.

The play comes out in January. Until then, let me leave you with an excerpt from the fateful scene where the will is read:

JANICE: (Reads.) "The last will and testament of Robert 'Big Bob' Little."

ANNIE: Can you hurry up?

JANICE: I just started.

ANNIE: I know, but I was hoping you could skip to the part where I get everything.

JANICE: Please. Be. Quiet. (Clears her throat.) "As we grow older, we come to realize that money really doesn't matter—"

CECILIA: I'm not that old yet!

ANNIE: I hope I never get that old!

JANICE: "What matters is the love and devotion of those closest to us. Therefore, I leave everything I own to the one member of this family who has shown me nothing but unswerving devotion and love..."

CECILIA: Here it comes!

ANNIE: I can taste those millions now!

JANICE: Wiggles.

CECILIA: What did you say?

JANICE: I said Wiggles. Wiggles gets everything.

CECILIA: Who's Wiggles?

ANNIE: I think it's the cat.

DIGBY: Oh, it's most definitely the cat.

CECILIA: Uh huh. And when it says "everything," what exactly does that mean?

JANICE: It means everything.

CECILIA: You mean like the cat bed?

JANICE: No. Everything.

ANNIE: Oh, the cat food!

JANICE: No. It means everything!

LITTLE BOB: Wow! Even the cat toys?

JANICE: Let me see. How can I put this? Wiggles gets everything. The house. The land. The 36 million dollars in the bank. It all goes to Wiggles.

ANNIE: That's not fair! Wiggles is just a stupid animal!

JANICE: How can you call her stupid? I thought you loved animals.

ANNIE: I do. As a concept. It's real animals I can't stand.