Belmont Diary: Worst Fairy Tale gets a premiere

I'm not going to lie. I was a little nervous when I emailed my script for The Worst Fairy Tale Ever to Belmont Day School, the school that commissioned it from me. I was really love the play, but it wasn't anything like my other plays and I wasn't it's what they were looking for.

It's very self-aware, with the actors often commenting on the fairy tale they're supposed to be performing. In fact, almost the entire play is like this. I think it works because every character, every line operates on two levels: that of the actors and that of the characters they're playing.

If this sounds confusing, it is. And now you know why I was nervous.

I also wasn't sure about some of the gags, which are even quirkier than most of the stuff I write.

I shouldn't have worried. The school had their first readthrough a couple of weeks ago and the theater director raved about it. He said it was real winner and was so funny when read in the various characters' voices.

Whew!

That's not all. I just got word from South Florence High School in Florence, SC that they've booked the world premiere for November 8 (as I explained in a previous post, Belmont Day School is only using it for in-class instruction). Yay!

How did I find them? Through a fantastic Facebook Group called High School Theatre Directors and Teachers. It's mainly a group for theater teachers to help each other solve productions issues on their shows (and only occasionally to gripe about those annoying helicopter parents).

The group frowns on commercial self-promotion, but on the first day of each month, they allow playwrights to promote their plays. And the most common way to promote them is to pitch the story (briefly, very briefly!) with an offer of a free perusal copy to anyone who asks.

I posted my pitch of The Worst Fairy Tale Ever on August 1 and I got a respectable 90 requests for scripts. Three weeks later, I was contacted by a young woman at South Florence High School, who wanted use the script for her student directing project. When I told her theater teacher that this meant they'd get world premiere credit in the script if and when it's published, he was thrilled. I was just as thrilled for them.

The school will be sending me a video recording of the production so that I can give the script a final polish based on the response from the audience. I'll then be submitting it to Pioneer Drama Service for their consideration.

But wait. There's more. .Just today, the theater director at Shenandoah High School in Shenandoah, IA said she'll be taking the play to the Iowa Speech Contest this winter. I was hoping schools would see this easy-to-produce play (no set! no costumes! many laughs!) as a competition piece, so I consider this a big win.

If you're a theater teacher and you're not a member yet of this amazing Facebook group, I strongly urge you to check it out. And if you're a playwright looking for a powerful way to reach out to high schools, look no further. You've found it.

Oh, and if you'd like to receive your own free perusal copy of The Worst Fairy Tale Ever, just email me at todd.wallinger@gmail.com. Thanks!

Freaky Tiki is now available!

Three has always been my magic number. But this year, five carries a special kind of magic for me. Because that's the number of plays I've released this year--a new record.

Freaky Tiki is that fifth play (and my 29th overall), and it was just released by Pioneer Drama Service. This tropical comedy has a cast of 20 (3M, 12F, and 5 that can be any) and runs about 75 minutes. Here's the synopsis:

The Wobbly Palms Resort prides itself on being the finest two-and-a-half-star resort in Hawaii—and if it hadn't been for that incident in the goat yoga class last year, they'd still have that third star. Unfortunately, the owners are losing money on the place and will be forced to close it for good if they can't find a buyer soon.

There's still hope, however. The staff has just gotten word that a mystery guest will be arriving soon to evaluate the resort for possible purchase by a major hotel chain. All they have to do is make sure nothing goes wrong during the guest's stay. But then a different guest leaves a creepy-looking tiki with the front desk clerk for safekeeping and everything starts to go wrong.

First, the resort's hot-tempered French chef discovers that the lobster that was supposed to be that evening's dinner special has escaped. Then an obsessive young man determined to pull off the world's most elaborate marriage proposal loses the ring in a pond full of hungry piranhas. Next, a temperamental opera singer preparing for her comeback concert loses her voice, forcing her to communicate by clown horn. And finally the resort's perky activities director loses an entire tour group on a hike!

Could the tiki be cursed? If so, how can they counteract the curse? And exactly who is the mystery guest anyway?

Culminating in a crazy chase scene between the butterfly-net-wielding chef and an unusually large lobster, this hilarious comedy proves that sometimes bad luck is simply good luck in disguise.

I've already discussed how I came up with the idea for the play (think The White Lotus meets The Brady Bunch).

The play is particularly easy to produce. It requires only a single hotel lobby set. The costumes are fairly simple, primarily work clothes for the staff (maid, bellhop, chef) and vacation clothes for the guests. There are no special lighting requirements and only one sound effect, which can be easily produced using a crash box.

One fun bit is that the script includes a fair amount of Hawaiian vocabulary. But never fear! The script also includes a glossary with the pronunciation and definition of each of those terms. Your students may even come away from the production learning a little about Hawaiian history and culture.

Want to learn more. You can read a sample of the script and review full ordering info on the play's web page.

A hui hou!

Swiss Meatballs

No, that's not a typo. Sweden may be famous for their meatballs, but Switzerland has their own tasty version. And they now have another one to enjoy because Theaterverlag Kaliolabusto of Messen, Switzerland has just published a German language translation of my restaurant farce Million Dollar Meatballs.

This combination publisher/theater company did the same thing for How I Met Your Mummy six years ago. And it's all thanks to the relationship my own publisher Pioneer Drama Service has established with them. Kaliolabusto goes through Pioneer's catalog to decide which plays they want to translate and give the bulk of the performance fees to Pioneer to split with the playwright.

It's a real win-win-win. Kaliolabusto gets market-proven material to translate. Pioneer and the playwright gets increased exposure. And we all make a little money.

I feel honored by Kaliolabusto's selection of my play (it's one of only seven they've released this year). And I'm excited to see how popular this food-centered comedy will be in the land of fine chocolate and fondue.

By the way, that title translates to Meatballs and Diamonds. I may not be able to pronounce it, but I love the sound of it.

Guess I'd better dust off the four years of German I took in college--and never used since!

Instant Five-Timer

I've spoken before about my Five-Timers club, that elite group of schools and community theaters that have performed five or more of my plays. It usually takes a few years to achieve that lofty status. After all, producing groups generally like to mix things up by performing plays from a variety of playwrights.

So I have to give a big shoutout to Plain Dealing High School (Go Lions!) of Plain Dealing, LA, which became the fifth member of my Five-Timers Club--literally overnight--by booking five different plays of mine yesterday. 

The five plays are:

It Happened on Route 66 (my newest blockbuster)

Million Dollar Meatballs (a perennial favorite)

The Butler Did It! (an old classic)

You're Driving Me Crazy! (short and oh so sweet)

The Purrfect Crime (an overlooked charmer)

All five plays are scheduled for this school year, so I'm guessing they may be in-class readings rather than full productions. But they're all officially licensed and paid through Pioneer Drama Service so what the heck. I'll count them.

And no, my Five-Timers Club may not come with a jacket, like Saturday Night Live's version. But it does get you my everlasting gratitude and appreciation.

Thanks, PDHS! And break lots and lots of legs!

Show Me State Bookshop Helps Abused Kids

Just a quick congratulations to the STARS Foundation of Cabool, MO. According to this article in the West Plains Daily Quill, their recent production of How to Enchant a Bookshop raised over $20,000 for the 37th Judicial Court Appointed Special Advocates (CASA), a vitally important volunteer group that helps abused and neglected children. 

This warms my heart. I hope the money raised will have a positive, life-changing impact on many, many kids in your area.

Free Perusal Script of The Last Radio Show

Two weeks ago, I told you about an incredible offer from Pioneer Drama Service: five full perusal scripts of my plays for the amazing price of zero dollars and zero-zero cents.

Well, this week it's a different play with a different publisher but the same low, low price. Heuer Publishing is offering a free perusal copy of my play The Last Radio Show. All you have to do is visit this web page, then click on Download Free sScript. (Note: If you access the page on your phone, you may need to fill out your name, organization, and email address.)

The Last Radio Show is one of my funniest plays and is a lot of fun because it gives the actors an opportunity to make those old-timey sound effects like using coconut shells for the sound of horse hooves or crumpling cellophane for the sound of a campfire.

The play has a cast of 10 (5M/5F), a single set, and runs 90 minutes. Here's the synopsis:

It's 1948, and KUKU Radio is on trouble. Their broadcast tower keeps falling over. The electric company is about to shut off their power. And now they're losing actors, one by one. Can this ragtag crew keep the show going? Or will they be shut down for good?

This hilarious farce brings back the Golden Age of Radio, with crazy commercials such as Kindling Krunch ("the cereal that's like having your own National Park--in a bowl!), and even crazier shows, like The Thing With Two Spleens and Tex King, The Humming Cowboy.

Don't touch that dial! This is radio like you've never seen it before!

But be sure to download the script soon. The link expires on Monday, September 9.

Free Read Friday

Subscribers to Pioneer Drama Service's newsletter are already familiar with Free Read Fridays. At the end of each week, Pioneer promotes one or more plays from their catalog by providing a link to a free downloadable copy of the complete script.

My plays have appeared on Free Read Friday several times in the past, sometimes on their own, sometimes as part of a themed collection (recent themes have included Children's Musicals and Christmas in July).

It's always exciting to see what plays they offer. But today I'm especially excited because for the first time, Pioneer is devoting the week's theme to a single author's works. And that author happens to be, well, me.

The five plays they selected are tied together in three key ways. They're all 60-80 minutes in length. They're all single-set. And they all feature my unique brand of humor (Pioneer's words, not mine😁).

The five are:

It Happened on Route 66

It's a Madhouse!

George Washington Ate My Homework

Million Dollar Meatballs

Whole Latte Love

Unfortunately, if you don't already subscribe to the newsletter, it's too late to download these. But I'd still urge to subscribe as soon as possible because the next four Free Read Fridays will also offer five (or more) free perusal scripts.

Pioneer calls it their Five-for-Five, and I think it's a fantastic deal. Where else can you get 25 perusal scripts--a $200 value--for free? The themes they'll be offering are Halloween shows, murder mysteries, fairy tale courtroom comedies, and contest pieces.

And yes, you can unsubscribe at any time. To add your name to the growing list of subscribers, just fill out their form here.