The Worst Fairy Tale Ever is now available!

I am beyond excited to announce that Pioneer Drama Service has just released my 29th play with them and my 33rd play overall. Titled The Worst Fairy Tale Ever, it's a fast-paced comedy with a cast of 8 and a run time of just 20 to 25 minutes.

The play had an interesting development process. It was first commissioned by  Belmont Day School in Massachusetts for use in their 6th grade theater arts class. 

After working out the bugs with them, I promoted it on the High School Theatre Directors and Teachers group on Facebook. South Florence High School in South Florence, South Carolina, snapped it up and they gave the play its world premiere in a student-directed production in November.

Shenandoah High School in Shenandoah, Iowa also responded to my post, and they took the play to their district speech contest in January and the state-level contest in March.

So the play appeals to many different age groups, from elementary school all the way up to high school. It would also work well as a TYA production performed by adults.

What makes it so adaptable? Well, I think it's because the play is a piece of cake to produce, with no set requirements beyond a single stage cube and no costume requirements beyond a few hats. And while the story is simple, the vocabulary is just challenging enough to offer some real meat for young and not-so-young actors alike. 

The story itself works on three levels. At first glance, it appears to be a straightforward fairy tale about a king who offers half his kingdom to whoever can defeat the dragon ravaging the land. But the actors performing the play-within-a-play pretty much botch it.

The actor playing the knight tapes his lines to the back of his shield. Another actor insists on stealing the show with a ridiculously drawn-out death scene. The actor playing the dragon is too shy to even step onto the stage. And the narrator gets so fed up with the cast's antics that she quits the show entirely.

Think of it as the Brothers Grimm meets The Play That Goes Wrong.

Only as the play progresses does it become clear that the story goes deeper yet as one of the actors has an anxiety attack about his performance and the rest of the cast quickly improvise an ending to help him feel the love.

Want more? Then just head over to the play's web page, where you can read the synopsis, download a script sample, and order your own perusal script.

Enjoy!

Bringing Down the House for real

Sometimes schools primarily choose a play because they like the playwright. Sometimes it's because they like the playwright. And sometimes it's simply because it works with the cast they have.

Well, St. Lawrence Seminary High School in Mt. Calvary, Wisconsin may have had the best reason of all for choosing Bringing Down the House, my comedy about a struggling theater company that's forced to rush things when they find out the theater they rented is going to be demolished the very next day.

As it turns out, the school had recently demolished a building of their own, and they thought it would be fun to perform a play that marked their "year of demolition."

I mean, you don't have to tear down any buildings to do this play. But if you want to, that's fine with me.

Belmont Diary: A high-flying comedy

They say that theater is the most collaborative of art forms. I actually think cinema deserves that title. I mean, watch the credits of any big budget movie (if you can stand it) and you'll see the names of hundreds, even thousands of people, who contributed--way more than even the most elaborate Broadway spectacle. 

Still, theater is a strong second place. You've got the director, who shapes the production. You've got the producer to provides the funding. You've got the cast to bring the story to life. You've got the stage manager to keep the show running smoothly. And you've got designers and crew members to take care of all those technical details that really make a production sing (even if it's not a musical!).

The missing link

There's just one person left out of this equation. The playwright.

Oh, sure. The playwright may be involved in the original production, serving as a general advisor or answering queries as to the intent of the text. But often the playwright is viewed as an annoyance, even an impediment, by the director, who's striving to birth her own vision for the show. Sometimes, the director even bans the playwright from the rehearsal hall.

Of course, after the play is published, any subsequent productions are done without any input from the playwright whatsoever. As a result, the playwright performs much of their work alone, whether it's in a well-appointed study or a lowly garret. And that can really hinder their creativity.

Which is why I really value the relationships I've formed with the theaters I work with. Jacksonville Performing Arts Center in North Carolina will be working with me on the world premiere of my reality show comedy Survival Island! this November. And then there's Belmont Day School in Massachusetts, which has just hired me for my fourth playwriting commission.

Two of those earlier commissions, It's a Madhouse! and Bringing Down the House, have become huge hits, while the third one, The Worst Fairy Tale Ever, will be released by Pioneer Drama Service any day now. So I'm eager to work with them on a new play, even if it means I've got to shelve it for several months while I wait for the world premiere. It'll be worth it, though, because the feedback I'll get from the theater staff (and eventually the audience!) will be invaluable in making the play the very best it can be--something I can't really get any other way.

An idea is born

This time, instead of them hiring me to dramatize a story they'd already defined, we decided to brainstorm some new concepts together (through email). Theater director Christopher Parsons came up  with ten of them, and the one that grabbed me was one titled Train Station Tales. Only as soon as I read that, a couple of thoughts quickly sparked inside my brain.

What if instead of a train station, the play was set at the boarding gate of an airport? And what if the  flight was cancelled due to snow and the passengers were forced to spend the night there?

It had everything: Conflict. Humor. Drama. And lots of potential for human connection.

Oh, one more thing. Like my first two commissions, this one is for another monster-sized cast, somewhere between 38 and 40 actors. The airport idea lends itself to this as well, and I can already envision a dozen vignettes featuring the sometimes-crazy, sometimes-heartwarming, but always human stories you find at the airport.

A rose by any other name...

The first draft is due in early September so I've got plenty of time to work on it. Meanwhile, I still have to come up with a catchy title. Here are just a few of the ones I'm mulling:

Snowbound.

Stuck at the Airport.

Thirty Minutes Till Boarding.

Missed Connections.

Thank You for Your Patience.

Ah, I'll think of something.

Great things come in small packages

Just one week after I attended a production of It Happened on Route 66, I had the fun of seeing another one of my shows. Tonight it was The Last Radio Show at the Academy Theatre in Phoenix.

This theater company is the flip side of Center Stage Theater Group, which produced my popular diner comedy last Saturday.

Where Center Stage is only two years old, the Academy Theatre has been around for a respectable eighteen.

Where Center Stage is a community theater for adult actors, the Academy Theatre is an arts school for youth with a small adult program.

Where Center Stage has a small troupe of veteran actors to draw from, the Academy Theatre focuses on newbies or those with limited experience.

And where Center Stage is located in a fast-growing middle-class suburb of Phoenix, the Academy Theatre finds its home in the urban heart of the city, where its mission of nurturing disadvantaged youth is most needed.

When I first emailed the founder and director Angel Arredondo about attending the show, he confessed he wasn't sure whether the cast would be excited or nervous. I told him not to worry. I enjoy seeing my plays performed by actors of all different skill and experience levels. What's important is the passion and sense of fun they bring to their roles.

The Academy Theatre may be the smallest proscenium theater I've ever been in as it has only four rows of eight seats each (all of which were filled for tonight's performance). The stage was small too, but Angel made the most of it, managing to squeeze an entire radio station into the space from the performance area to the reception desk to the oh-so-important coffee station (you'll have to read the play to know why!).

When I sat down to look over the program, I was surprised to find how truly inexperienced the cast was. Two of the ten actors had never acted before. Two more hadn't acted in ten years.

Still, the cast did a wonderful job. Their comedic timing and delivery were excellent, and the audience responded with a steady barrage of laughter that lasted right up until the climax of the play.

That's when I held my breath. The biggest moment in the play comes when Jimmy, the mild-mannered office boy, finally gets to prove his acting chops by single-handedly performing a three-minute radio play--including a dozen different voices. As the miniplay-within-a-play comes to an end, so does Jimmy, collapsing to the floor in exhaustion. He saved the radio station, and that moment has never failed to get a show-stopping burst of applause.

I'm happy to report that it didn't this time either. The crowd cheered, and I could breathe again.

The play ended shortly after, and the cast took their well-deserved bows.

Those familiar with the play know that one of its big draws is that it gives the audience a chance to see how many of those old-time radio show effects were made, whether somebody crinkled cellophane to make the sound of a crackling fire or shook a thin metal sheet to make the sound of thunder. The Academy Theatre didn't have that luxury so they simply piped in all of the sounds using audio files.

While not ideal, this worked much better than I would have expected, and so I can recommend it as a viable alternative for theater companies that are strapped for either resources or time.

I didn't get to take any pictures with the cast, and that's okay. I always take my lead from the cast and this cast didn't ask for it. But I did get to shake hands with each of them and let them know that they did a bang-up job.

It was a magical evening, made even more magical by the energy and dedication of the entire cast and crew.

Angel must be doing something right.

Route 66 comes home

I've talked before about how rare it is for me to see one of my plays. About 90% of my productions come from schools, and I tend to avoid those because the presence of the playwright can be intimidating, something young actors don't need when the focus should be on them and the development of their skills in a constructive, pressure-free environment.

In fact, the last production I saw was An Enchanted Bookshop Christmas all the way back in December 2023. That was a wonderful show and I was gratified by how warmly the audience responded to it.

So I was excited this weekend to see Center Stage Theater Group bring my diner comedy It Happened on Route 66 to life in the Phoenix metro area, where I live.

I'm familiar with most of the theaters in town, but I'd never heard of this happy band of thespians. A quick Google search told me they're one of the newest companies in town, having only been around since 2023.

Center Stage is the brainchild and passion project of Helene Benigno, a director, actor, and playwright in her own right. In just two years, she has built a dedicated stable of community theater veterans with whom she produces plays like Love, Loss, and What I Wore and Lizzie Borden of Fall River.

When I contacted Helene, she said she'd be thrilled to have me attend the show. And so earlier tonight, I journeyed westward with my wife to the suburb of Buckeye, where the company was performing my  play at a local high school.

As soon as I stepped inside the school's cafetorium, I knew I was in good hands. The set looked great. Although the company had rented the stage for only two performances, they managed to put together a set that was both appealing and lovingly detailed, establishing a fun, nostalgic mood for the performance.

Even better, the place was packed. I'm guessing at least two hundred people were there. The air was electric. And so, as I settled into my seat, I couldn't wait to see the cast bring my familiar lines to life.

Only it didn't start familiar, and for a few minutes, I wasn't sure what was going on. Sans dialogue, a young waitress entered the diner and promptly fell asleep at one of the tables, only to be chewed out by an irate Cookie, also sans dialogue but with plenty of amusingly angry gestures.

Turns out this was nothing more than a way to get the audience to take their seats, since Helene's pre-performance announcements immediately followed this scene. I thought it was really fun because it basically played out how Sally's coworker Deedee quit, an event which Cookie only briefly mentions near the beginning of the play.

I don't know the name of the actress who played Deedee (she's not credited as such in the program), but I'm 99.9% certain she's the only person who's ever played this role.

The show was fantastic. I hate to pick out any single performers since they were all so good. But I would like to mention Ashley Fergus-Crane, who played movie star Lovey Lamour exactly as I'd always imagined her, with plenty of sass in the beginning, but gradually revealing her human side as she interacts with the everyday people who pass through the diner.

Helene told me she's a huge fan of physical comedy, and it showed. She gave her cast free rein to play with the script, and they found plenty of stuff to work with. My favorite bit was the way Ashley awkwardly stuck her fingers inside the water glasses as she carried them to the customers--something she came up with herself and which got loud guffaws every time she did it.

I also really liked Mallory Kochmann, who blended a wide-eyed innocence with just the right amount of spunk in her portrayal of movie-obsessed waitress Sally. In fact, she seemed to win the hearts of the audiences as much as she did Roscoe's heart, earning a heartfelt "aw" from the crowd as she declared her undying love for her geeky boyfriend.

And Kathy Berrens was hilariously tough as diner owner Cookie (it's always fun to see whether a theater goes with a male or female in this role--both work well!). Every one of her tirades got big laughs from the audience. And this constant grousing only made it funnier when she totally fan-girled out at crooner Johnny Jerome's surprise appearance in Act Two.

Speaking of surprises, there was an especially clever one at intermission when Helene announced that she would give two free tickets to whoever found a particular object under their seat. The object? The C that was blown off of the Cookie's Diner sign (you can see me holding it in the photo at the top of this post).

Cute, right?

Helene put her own twist on the ending as well. In the script, I have the lights dim as Cookie wipes the counter after bidding a pre-fame Elvis goodbye. Instead of this, Helene had Cookie stroll over to the jukebox, where she punched the button for "Hound Dog." This led seamlessly into the curtain call as the cast shimmied and shook their way onto the stage to the real Elvis's iconic tune.

After the performance, I chatted with the cast and signed their programs. They bombarded me with questions about my thoughts on the performance and what other plays I was working on, but there was one question I myself was dying to ask.

Sheehan Servais played both a hilariously hungry Otis and the King himself. He played them so well, in fact, that I didn't even realize they were done by the same actor until he came out for the curtain call.

Now I wish I'd asked him how he managed the quick change since the script goes right from Otis's exit to Elvis's entrance with only a quick laugh and a wipe of the counter by Cookie between them. But no. The question I asked was how he managed to put away so much food during the hour and a half of the play.

The production notes at the end of the script suggest that the actor deposit some of the food into a hole drilled into the top of the counter. But I watched for that and didn't see Sheehan doing anything like that.

The answer was simple. Sheehan did eat all of the food he was served during the play. He just skipped dinner those nights.

I guess that's one of the advantages to being in your twenties. You know, the insatiable appetite and all.

Anyway, it was an amazing show, and I feel very lucky to have seen it.

Thank you, Helene and the entire cast and crew. You made this playwright very proud.

Survival Island! available for licensing

So I've got a brand new play for you. It's titled Survivor Island! and before I submit it for publication, I'm licensing it directly to schools and community theaters so that I can work out any bugs and make it the very best it can be.

Survivor Island! features a cast of 10 (3M, 3F, 4 any). It's the closest thing I've ever written to a true ensemble piece, with no single lead and 8 of the 10 parts being fairly substantial. It requires only a single beach set and runs a very brisk 70 minutes. 

The play was inspired by--big surprise!--the TV reality series Survivor! I always thought it was funny that, while the living conditions faced by the contestants on the show may be difficult, they are nowhere near being a true survival situation. This made me think: what if a bunch of mostly pampered city dwellers signed up for a survival reality show only to be forced to fend for themselves when the show's host and crew disappear in a tragic accident.

Okay, so it's a little dark. But not that dark. The characters are over-the-top parodies of the types of personalities you often see on these shows. And both the situations they get into and the dialogue among the characters are very comical. In tone, I figure it's halfway between Gilligan's Island and Lord of the Flies.

Here's the full synopsis:

What's the most popular reality show on TV? Survival Island!, of course! And host Chase Conroy promises that this season will be the most thrilling one yet. Not only is the island they've chosen surrounded by the most shark-infested waters on earth, but the jungle is teeming with poisonous plants, and there's an active volcano right in the middle of it!

Behind the scenes, Chase assures the eight contestants that there's nothing to worry about. His number one job is to keep them safe. Of course, that's before Chase and the entire crew fall into the volcano. Now the contestants are on their own with no boat, no food, and no way to communicate with the outside world.

At first, they vow to work together to get rescued. But when one of the contestants—a quiet, shy librarian named Shannon—discovers the island's lone banana tree, she decides to use that knowledge to fuel her own ambitions, leading to a war between the haves and the have-nots. A war fought with bananas, of course!

My good friends at Jacksonville Performing Arts in Jacksonville, North Carolina, will present the world premiere in November. In the meantime, I'm looking for additionally producing groups who would like to produce this raucously funny, thought-provoking play.

Interested in receiving a free perusal copy of the script? Then email me directly at todd.wallinger@gmail.com. There's absolutely no obligation to perform the play. I won't even bug you about it.

If you decide to perform it, just let me know the dates. The licensing fee is $60 per performance and includes the right to make as many copies of the script as you need for no additional cost. I would greatly appreciate it if you could give me feedback on the production challenges you faced and any suggestions for improvement you may have, but this is by no means required.

Oh, and did I mention that every script includes instructions on how to build an actual functioning banana battery (a key plot point in the play)?

Theater AND science. Would could be better than that?

Reno Bookshop builds libraries

I'm always thrilled to see the creative ways that schools and community theaters use The Enchanted Bookshop to encourage reading in their communities. Some have a story time before the show. Some give a free book to every child attending the performance.

And then there's Reno Little Theater in--you guessed it!--Reno, Nevada. They came up with a way to promote reading not only among their smaller audience members but throughout the city. At each performance, they'll be holding a book exchange in which each person who donates three books gets to take home one book of their choice. The books remaining at the end of the production will then be donated to non-profit Spread the Word Nevada to help local kids build their own home libraries.

The show runs March 7-16. If you're in the area, I urge you to attend. Not only will you see a great show, but you'll get a chance to share your love of reading with countless others.

Seriously, what can be better than that?