Stakes are important. They're what make us care about the story in the first place. Without stakes, there's no tension. Without stakes, there's no one to root for.
Every writer knows they need to give their hero a meaningful goal, but that's not what we're talking about here. Stakes go deeper. Stakes answer the question: what does the hero lose if they don't reach their goal?
This is a lesson I had to relearn when I was polishing the script of the pilot for
The Enchanted Bookshop TV series.
In the teaser, Miss Margie is threatened with eviction because she's several months behind on her rent. Shortly after, the Lits have a brief exchange what they can do to help.
Pollyanna picks up the NOTE from the counter.
POLLYANNA
DOROTHY
Didn't you hear? That's the past due
notice from Mr, Skinflint. If Miss
Margie doesn't come up with three
thousand dollars by tomorrow, Mr.
Skinflint is going to close the shop.
POLLYANNA
Oh, no! What's going to happen to
us?
DOROTHY
Who cares what happen to us? It's
Miss Margie I'm worried about.
TOM
Yeah. This shop is her life.
POLLYANNA
Hey, I've got an idea! Why don't we
open a lemonade stand? I'll bet we
could raise the three thousand dollars
in no time!
DOROTHY
You know we can't do that, Pollyanna.
That would break the two rules the
Book Fairy gave us when she first
brought us to life.
TOM
That's right! If we ever leave the
shop or are seen by any humans, we'll
disappear into our books forever.
If you've seen the play, then you might remember that this is pretty close to what the Lits say soon after we meet them.
The scene does a lot. It introduces the two rules that the Lits have to follow. It describes what'll happen if Margie doesn't pay her rent. And it throws in a little humor by showing how the overly optimistic Pollyanna would address the problem.
Unfortunately, it failed do the one thing it needed to do: lay out the stakes for the Lits.
That's because I played it safe. In my mind, I knew that the Lits would disappear into their books forever if Margie lost the shop. But I didn't want the stakes to be about them. I didn't want the Lits to seem selfish.
So I made the stakes about Margie. And I thought if we saw how much the Lits care about her, then we'll be rooting for them.
The problem is that it doesn't make us root for Margie. As my manager pointed out, why do we care if Margie loses the shop?
And if I had any doubt about his wisdom (I didn't), I got almost the exact same criticism from a reader at a screenwriting competition.
John's suggestion was to add a scene showing Margie doing a reading to kids at a library. If Margie loses the shop, then the kids lose their stories.
It's a good suggestion, and I'm sure it would work. But one thing I've learned is that if you need to clarify something and your choice is between explaining it by providing additional dialogue or simplifying it by removing the source of confusion in the first place, the better choice is to simplify.
So this is what I came up with:
Pollyanna picks up the NOTE from the counter,
POLLYANNA
What's this?
DOROTHY
Didn't you hear? That's the past due
notice from Mr. Skinflint.
TOM
If Miss Margie doesn't come up with
the money by tomorrow, that old miser
will shut down the shop and we'll
disappear into our books forever!
Short. Punchy. And, I hope, more effective.
Yes, it leaves out the two rules and it leaves out the fact that Margie could lose the shop. But I can always drop those into a later episode.
Right now, in the pilot, I have one job, and that's to lay out the stakes that will keep viewers coming back.
What are the stakes in your story? What does your hero stand to lose if they don't reach their goal?
